02 January 2008

The Bombs of January

I am a fan of January movies. Even though I don't watch them. But every new year I wait in hushed anticipation to see what the major studios will dump out in the first weeks of the month. The holiday rush is over, the deadline for award consideration is passed, so studios do a little "house cleaning" and get the hopeless genre trash off their schedules. What films do they want to forget they ever green-lit?

In 2006 we had the Uwe Boll videogame flick Bloodrayne. Last year we were delivered Cedric the Entertainer (an ironic title if there ever was one) in Code Name: The Cleaner. This year, we get a re-make of a Japanese horror film (what an original concept!), One Missed Call.

I know that One Missed Call is the English title of the original film, but why in the world would Warner Bros. give movie critics such an open opportunity with a title like that? The snarky headlines write themselves: "One Missed Movie!" "The One to Be Missed This January" "If Only the Actors Had Missed Their Call." After all, nobody would name a film Failure to Launch. Oh wait, somebody did? Sheesh, who runs these marketing departments?

Enjoy not seeing One Missed Call this weekend, and get ready next weekend to love not seeing In the Name of the King… Uwe Boll's next gift to January films. It's shaping up to be an awesome January at the movies.