I report with great sorrow that One Missed Call, this week's first epic January Movie!™, was not screened for critics, and therefore we will have to wait until Monday for the flood of negative reviews making bad word plays on the film's title. Standard shock horror movies and January detritus rarely screen for critics, so I saw this coming long before I even knew what was debuting in the first month of the year.
We do have a small trickle of reviews of One Missed Call coming from the few critics who got a peek at it. New Times gives us our first word play: "One Missed Opportunity." And Horror.com bravely pulls out the joke we all know is coming: "This is one call you should definitely miss." So the two big gags are now covered, and nobody else needs to bother reviewing the film.
Ah, the splendor of January at the movies!